Open Journey

Taking a break.

2007-03-20T18:33:00.000-07:00

I will not be posting any more for a little while do to the fact that people don't seem to understand that this blog was a way for me to be excited , have fun, express myself.

2007-03-19T22:48:00.000-07:00

Blogger won't let me post on anyone's blogs. Says I don't exists, but it let me sign on here. hummmm.
They say that every bride knows what she wants....you just have to ask the right questions. I'm running out of time trying to figure out the questions. I have 7 weddings in the next several months. I want them all to be perfect for each one of my brides. I want this to be fun and enjoyable. I also have a reputation to uphold. You are only as good as your last event in this business.
For any one who misconstrued this post previously , I was trying to express that I was having fun with my sister Marissa's wedding stuff. That it wasn't about her. It was never meant to be mean or negative. I was trying to say that she wasn't any problem what-so-ever!!!! I have said I am sorry to her and to my knowledge we have worked it out.
I have new clients who want to see what I create. I have old clients with more children who I want their future business.
I closed another contract and got paid today. I needed to find some floral so we headed out.
Tonight I took the kids to the mall. Something we do only rarely. What a great time we had. The sales girl was so good at Bath and Body we actually bought stuff! The body sprays were on sale, only five bucks each. (we use them for air freshener) She said she had a coupon behind the cabinet that if we bought 2 she could give us one free. OKAY THEN! So we came home with 3 scents for the price of what one would have cost originally. This is something we never do. Maliea got a lotion for her hands in the Sweet Pea scent that she loves. I got Sensual Amber, Chaiya- Japanese Cherry Blossom and Quayde - Pink Grapefruit. Lydia got the Chocolatina book from Barnes and Noble! Lydia loves this story soooooo much. We have to check it out from the library at least once a month. So we spent like $25 and we all felt so good to have something. Money has been a little tight and it was really nice to just have an unnecessary treat. Oh and Thayne got a strand of fake bear grass which he loves to flick around and try to hit people with. It was what he wanted....really!

busy again

2007-03-13T22:59:00.000-07:00

It feels like it has been forever since I have had anytime to post or even read anyone's blog. I have been busy trying to work out details for my sister Marissa's wedding weekend. She is one of 6 current brides that I am working with. Tonight I just had another contract signed. 4 of these weddings are in May and I still have one of those weekends free. Marissa's colors are a moss (olive) green and chocolate brown which is yummy. Her invites turned out really well. At least our mom thinks they are great. We are trying out some new software as a trial run from elmsoftware.com It might be worth the money, it's a little pricey. The only draw back I see right now is that Michael is a computer hog and won't let me work with the program. He loves to do computer stuff. That is where he really belongs. He needs to find or create a job that he can work with them. He just glows and is full of energy when he is figuring out a program. I am off to search the internet for dark eggplant colored chair sashes. Hope you are having fun too!

my morning

2007-03-07T08:37:00.001-08:00

Lydia dressed in a purple tutu doing the ooompa loompa dances, off of the new Charlie and the Chocolate factory movie extras
Thayne's been up all night with a fever , which means I had no sleep and my blueberry bagel tasted a little like garlic.
One of my brides- to- be hates flowers of which she told me last night in an email (I've been working with her since Nov)
and I have a lot of invitations to put together this afternoon.
Yes, it will be an interesting day.

Almost but not quite

2007-02-28T21:44:00.000-08:00

Yes , today is Feb 28 and Tomorrow March 1 and somewhere in-between in the magical realm of time is our anniversary. This year I composed Michael a paper back book through www.mypublisher.com It turned out amazing! I will definitely use them again possibly for a large portfolio of my wedding stuff. The only thing I would change was the font. I tried to cram all of our magical poem and words to the song from our wedding ceremony onto the page. So we might need a magnifying glass when we are old. I did give Michael the book earlier in the month. I don't think he was all that impressed but I love it. If you would like to see it click here then add #787033 to the pass code. Even the picture that weren't that good turned out looking nice.

For those of you who were wondering...the nurse will not be back. Although we found her stethoscope in Maliea's bedroom the other day(?) and will return it to nurses network.

Just when you think.....

2007-02-22T13:40:00.000-08:00

...that things can't get any more bizarre.

We noticed the other day that our fairly new industrial sized bottle of vanilla extract was much much lower than it should be. I love to bake but it would be quite the feat to use that much. So then I checked out my other bottles. The orange (80% alcohol) was completely empty, bottle still in the cabinet; the raspberry had about 1/2 inch left; The almond and banana (40%) almost both gone. Hummmmmm. Well Michael marked the vanilla bottle label with where the level of vanilla was. We suspected the nurse.

Are you laughing? 'Cause we are. Bizarre as it seems apparently our nurse has been enjoying our extract. When she went to leave today, I noticed through the Walmart plastic bag she was carrying that she had several extract boxes. Then as soon as she is out the door I hear Chaiya scream and start hysterically laughing, "It is her!" Chaiya had immediately run to the kitchen to check the vanilla bottle out. Sure enough there was more than an inch gone. Check out the photo with the mark.

Unfortunately I needed to call her supervisor. I am not sure how else I could have handled this. I guess Lydia is an excellent judge of character.

Following her bliss

2007-02-18T21:52:00.000-08:00

Talked to Chaiya tonight. They are spending the night in Grants Pass,Or. She is tired, beat, burned and happy beyond all belief! The instructor said she was way past beginner level and they will ship the paperweights and other things she made home. All the guys really encourage her to continue and even looked up resources and classes closer to home for her on-line. I am so happy to be able to support her with her dreams!

Happy Valentines Day

2007-02-14T21:32:00.000-08:00

My husband is far away in Idaho having the time of his life visiting with old friends. Chaiya is with him having the time of her life because he is letting her drive everywhere!!!! My living room currently looks like a sweat shop with organza all over in strips everywhere as I try to sew them together for a ceiling treatment. Have a wedding reception this weekend. Hired staff. Hope everyone shows up.
Lydia has recovered from a very rough weekend and horrible Monday. Desating to 62 and grey isn't fun for any of us at all! She lost another tooth and can't wait until the toothfairy comes tonight. Lets hope the toothfairy remembers. Unlike Quayde's last one where that crappy toothfairy forgot 3 times in a row.
I am not really a person that cares too much about Valentines, I am not cynical or anything, it's just that my kiddos don't like cherry tarts. I made cherry tarts for years for them on Valentines. One year Chaiya was brave enough to tell me they hated them :) Oh well. This year they got chocolate which is better anyway. Except Lyd, Barbie gummies with hearts for her. Have a great one and remember the best valentine is loving yourself!

QOTD

2007-02-12T15:47:00.000-08:00

"My heart is beating a little faster!" Michael after returning from trying to teach Chaiya to drive in a parking lot for 45 minutes.

By the way, he was sweating pretty bad too!

2007-02-10T23:53:00.000-08:00

Tonight my dad dropped by to visit and spend time while waiting for my 15 year old sister to get out of a dance. We watched a short film from my new spiritual cinema circle selection. In the film a blind woman teaches a man to see from his heart. My dad barely speaking over a whisper says, "That's how my mom saw the world" He wiped away a tear he didn't want me to notice. I never really stopped to think how much he misses her.
Grandma Ruby has been my angel, my guardian, my comfort. During some really really hard times these last 10 years I have felt her presence so strongly some day (nights too) All I could share though....... tonight with Dad was that she's with me alot.

Mixed emotions

2007-02-08T23:00:00.000-08:00

Maliea is my sweet, pure, wonderful one. She is so loving and kind. I wish the world valued that as a talent. Today......Chaiya passed, Maliea didn't. It was their driver's permit tests but you would have thought it was much much more. Chaiya always shines in the 'worldly' view. Which makes her happy and guilty. Maliea feels she isn't good enough. My heart aches for both of them as they try to find their way in this big world. I definitely don't have better answers for how it can be easier on them or me.

Next....

2007-02-07T21:40:00.000-08:00

The last two night have been long... without much sleep. I call them Next Kid nights. In other words, Lydia needs suctioning , Quayde is throwing up, Thayne wants to nurse yet again. So I go from one child to the next serving their needs and trying to make them as comfortable as possible. Tonight I am hoping that it is not a Next night and that sleep will be my friend!

Finding Time

2007-02-05T22:21:00.000-08:00

I am a person that truly believes that we "talk" ourselves out of time. How many times a day to we think negative 'time' thoughts? Things like ,"Hurry, We'll be late" or " There just are not enough hours in the day" etc... I think that we create that lack of time. My dear friend, Kristi, knows I have been playing with time for years. I listen to my statements. I re-enforce the belief that I always have enough time to do everything that is important as often as I can. I usually can guess what the correct time is within a couple of minutes. I never wear a watch. I didn't keep a calendar/planner until after Lydia was born. Then it was a do or die situation so I had to. We do not have real television in our home. I think that is an incredible time waster. We do watch videos for school and fun occasionally. More than I would like, but it is 6 to 1 in this house sometimes. I always like to believe that I have more than enough time, it is a much happier/ joyful concept than lack.

I have been working with a lady for a church function. She needs to decorate for a conference for 280 women. It's a brunch with speakers. It has taken me 3 weeks to convince her she doesn't need to number the tables since they will be colored coded. I have made the choice to only email her and talk in person because if I am on the phone she will talk for over an hour and never get anywhere. I need to send more light and blessings her way! (improve my attitude) Years ago I learned a concept about phone calls...almost always you can get what you need said in 1 1/2 minutes or less. Then if you choose there is always the fun part of talking as long as you want.

Today I felt a huge shift as I dropped off the three older children to various destinations. The two older girls had babysitting jobs and Quayde went to a friends house. Homeschooling has been such a joy as I have never needed to be in a car dropping five kids off to different schools constantly. They are getting older though. The girls are going to test for their driving permits . Whoa! Am I really ready for this? Maliea legally doesn't need us anymore since she is over 18 but the process of growing up is still present.
I look in the mirror and the grey hairs are just starting to come in more than strays. I think the toddler is doing it! I'll be forty this year. So we will see how time and I stay friends as I think I really am a very vain person.

medieval birthday

2007-02-03T21:21:00.000-08:00

Quayde had 6 boys over for his party with quite the age range. Since he is a popular boy with lots of friends, we had to limit the party to a manageable size. Still it was wild at times. We started with colored stained glass window pictures, then juggling or the attempt. We then watched a video off of youtube.com of master jugglers to see how amazing they were. Our journey then took us to a choose your own medieval adventure, in which our first choices almost got our fingers chopped off for killing one of the King's deer in the royal forest and having our little sister die from hunger. Next we had to go out to find the dragon scales that a baby dragon had shed in the back yard. We played a game trying to break off our ball and chain we got when we were prisoners in the dungeon. Then we had another choose you own adventure where at the end we became master goldsmiths in the guild. Our supper at the banquet table was eaten with our fingers and consisted of grapes, cheese, bread and chicken legs. The boys got to keep their goblets that they drank "wine" from. On to slaying and eating the dragon and presents. As each child presented their present to King Quayde , he presented them with something from the royal treasure chest. They got a dragon egg (glitter putty), build your own knight figure, gold chocolate coins and royal ring pops. They also got to take home 3 of the dragon scales they collected earlier. Huzzah!

Before he is slain

2007-02-02T13:07:00.000-08:00

In a few hours the house will be invaded by knights of all shapes and sizes. I just finished Quayde's birthday cake. It didn't turn out as nice as I wanted but he loves it and that is all that matters. So I thought I would post a picture before it got slain by the king and his knights.

In the mirror

2007-02-01T20:43:00.000-08:00

Chaiya and I were comparing our reflections this evening. Scars, wrinkles, etc... When I made note of the fact Chaiya has a serious nose. Her reply," Yeah, So serious it could scrape the Titanic"

On another note ; I realized as I was exiting the truck this evening and looked at the moon that we have invited 6 boys over tomorrow night for Quayde's birthday and the moon will be full.
Off to make a dragon cake and say some protection chants or something for my sanity.

today's message

2007-01-30T22:09:00.000-08:00

So several weeks back, over a month ago I signed up to receive these fun little messages from the universe. They are from this great site www.tut.com and they are usually right on and joyful.
Today's message was this:
"If you could live this life over, Tracie, would you still want there to be the same challenges?
Loaded question, huh?
Yeah, you cherry-picked each and every one. And you knew exactly what you were doing."
In awe of you - The Universe

I was out buying peanut butter at Basha's for a $1 a jar and stopped to grab a bite to eat (by myself). The cashier lady knows us well and mentioned how surprised she was at seeing me without all the kids. I told her I escaped. I truthfully don't know her name , she takes our order maybe 2 times a month. She then expressed how wonderful she felt Lydia was and how happy it makes her feel when she sees Lydia smile. She then told me that she could feel how great of a spirit Lydia was. I honestly told her that Lydia has brought me joy every single day of her life.

So would I still want the same challenges? Are they really challenges or just joy in disguise?
I'm thinking they expand me and even with the sorrow, the joy is always there.

On someone's back windshield

2007-01-29T21:34:00.000-08:00

Today as I was driving through a parking lot I spotted someone's auto with the back windshield full of dirt and a message written in it.
This is what it said," I wish my boyfriend was this dirty"

2007-01-26T21:07:00.000-08:00

My wonders for the week:

Thayne's laughter
Quayde still asking me to tuck him in at night
Staying up until 1:00 am watching "tv" on the web with my husband
Maliea's smile
Receiving a surprise package from Nana full of scrapbooking supplies and paper
Finding the perfect valentines gift for Michael that was practical but with a little fun thrown in
Singing Lydia lullabies in the middle of the night
Enjoying the kids school work and learning myself
Watching Chaiya expand out of her comfort zone and buy a shirt in a bright color
Getting a happy call from my sister Marissa

QOTD

2007-01-22T18:07:00.000-08:00

Lydia to the nurse as she was leaving," Good Bye and Never Come Back!"

Winter

2007-01-20T20:25:00.000-08:00

We awoke to lots of snow! Quayde, Zack and Lydia played outside for most of the morning, okay they played well into the afternoon. They would become all frozen then come inside warm up, find new socks to place on their hands and run right back outside. Lots of fun. Thayne played yesterday afternoon as it was falling. This morning he was a great deal more cautious about getting cold.

11 years ago in the AM when the sun was just thinking about coming over the horizon. My Quayde was born. I was thrilled with my new boy. I hadn't a clue about boys. Not sure I do now. Quayde has kept me busy. He has grown into a sweet, thoughtful and loving young man. Who decided to lose his temper this morning and get into his first fight with some kids down the road. He was more angry with himself than anything else. It was quite the lesson for him. The fighting was definitely not in his nature as he sat in the snow and cried and cried until I came for him. On this day 11 years ago, I had no idea most of his childhood I would be raising him by myself. Boys need fathers! I did an excellent job.... but Michael's presence in his life has been an incredible miracle. Quayde is a gentle soul who loves deep and thinks of others frequently. It is a honor to be his momma. We are not celebrating with a party today, that comes in a few weeks. He did get a crazy frog dvd which he was thrilled with although he had to have the volume quite loud, that makes it all the more fun.

NaCl

2007-01-17T21:35:00.000-08:00

Yes ladies and gentlemen, Salt has been the topic of the day. We found a new book at the library called 'The Story of Salt" by Mark Kurlansky. Very fun book. Something we take for granted today literally ruled the seas in the past. After we spent part of the afternoon discovering all the ways that salt has affected civilizations, we went out and got some salt from France and some pink salt from the Himalayas. The grey salt was too expensive though, maybe next time.
Another absolutely incredible book we have been using for the older ones is "Uncle Tungsten" by Oliver Sachs. This is a fascinating book about chemistry! All set with Oliver as a boy growing up during WW II. Get it and read it for yourself for fun. I am loving it and we are only to chapter 5. Okay maybe I am a little off but this makes learning about metals and other elements way more interesting than Mr Caminsky ever did in high school. I think this might lead to some experimentation in the kitchen. On second thought I was the one who caught my hair on fire during class over the Bunsen burner. No one noticed until the next class which was Geometry, in which the teacher took one look at me, handed me a pair of scissors and said, "Take a friend to the bathroom with you!" It didn't smell very friendly either.

Go hunting

2007-01-11T21:19:00.000-08:00

Chaiya and I were discussing what I had learned over the last several days. This will come to no surprise of course to my friend Kristi.
The most blaring idea is that I seriously need some clothes! Okay I have plenty of hanging around the house clothes, but something has happened major time since Lydia was born. I have no nice wardrobe to speak of. I have no sense of style for myself whatsoever. So this is going to be an adventure.

And the winner is.......

2007-01-10T21:14:00.000-08:00

ME! Yes I won the grand door prize at the Wedding Merchants convention. Out of all those people there I got it. What you say? Free tuition for next years convention!!!!!!! This is worth over $300. I did the happy dance when they called my name.

Just for fun and wonder

2007-01-09T22:18:00.000-08:00

I've been at a Wedding Merchants Convention for the past two days, one more day to go. So I had a few hours in between the last seminar and the banquet tonight so this is how I spent my time.
Listened to the church bells ring out the time and a song
Had a photographer from Seattle stop me on the street to share his shot with me and get my opinion.
Acquired a new Baja Fresh cup (Kristi you understand don't you?)
Had a very attractive man flirt with me as I was crossing the street and he called me a jaywalker cause the sign had already changed.
Savoured a small Cold Stone Creamery ice cream
Wondered about an old crumbling building and what it was about 50 years ago.
Marveled at how many Christmas decorations are still up around downtown Phoenix
Took several pictures of some tourists who needed that extra person so they could all be in the picture
Went into SEVERAL fancy hotels and used all their bathrooms, to compare and contrast. The Hyatt has crappy bathrooms (pun intended)
Spent 1/2 hour talking with a homeless gentleman and tried to help him feel real again.

During the banquet I learned that I am NOT a barbie doll shoe girl.
Got completely out of my comfort zone and did a conga line to the song "Hot Hot Hot"

What did you do today that was amazing?