Surgery

Lydia's trachea will not ever "out grow" the need for the trach tube. It's structurally wrong, deformed , what ever word describes it. So the only option is to do reconstructive surgery or keep the tube forever. We are going to wait a year before making any kind of decision because it's an extensive surgery that requires a long hospital visit and long recovery. I am feeling sad. There's a quote about the line between hope and despair being very thin. Nothing really has changed but in some ways everything has. This journey has been so hard and I am so very grateful for all the miracles and blessings but it doesn't ever take away that small part of my heart that grieves and remains in sorrow. She is so brave and so strong and so wonderful. (okay there's that orny part that shows up a little) The hard parts are when I can't fix it...when I can't make it all better, when she's in pain or struggling to breathe. So we plow on , through these brambles and thorns and try to find the path underneath that we can steady ourselves on.