warm and safe

I sit in this broken brown chair watching as the leaves are desperately clinging to the tree outside. The wind is whipping through these logs reminding us that winter is approaching quickly. I most certainly understand that perspective is rarely reality but am convinced that the mice have ganged up in force to show a might of strength before we leave. We have not winterized this house at all since we are soon to leave it, it is colder inside than out. Chaiya says we must move in the day we get the keys to our new home. I remind her that we have renovation to do before she has a room. She says she will sleep in a closet as long as it is warm.
I haven't packed a thing. It is like I am in a state of non-belief until we have the keys. This will be a much quicker move than any of the others I have done. NO I don't want help. Not that I don't appreciate the offer. For me, moving is like a closing of a book and starting of a new one. I need to personally toss out all the little things, it is refreshing and healing. When people come in to help move you and just toss everything into boxes, it is without care to the soul of the home. My husband hates it. He is used to the military coming in, boxing everything up, and heading out in a single day. They even box up any trash that has not been disposed of. I know it probably make no sense to anyone else but myself but this is how I enjoy moving.
I will only miss this house a little; I think I will miss the possibility that I had hoped this house would become for our family. The preserve was wonderful for our backyard but the creatures, the cold, and the discontent was not what our souls needed here. The construction and new "driveway" make us feel unsafe. A home should be always a safe place. I am so looking forward to creating that in our new place.